Not A Great Breakfast

So in this motel in the middle of nowhere, breakfast is served from 7 to 11 am. But checkout is 10 am. Go figure. I did however get a late check out until 11 am. I’d asked to see the breakfast menu last night and it wasn’t what I really wanted – essentially, all cooked food. I couldn’t be bothered to go find a grocery store so decided to go with the flow today.

I choose the Sunrise Scrambled Egg & Bacon on Toast – with Cheese. This latter element worried me somewhat as they don’t all go together.

When it was delivered in front of me my worst fears were founded. There was more cheese than egg and bacon combined. Everyone knows (most) American cheese is rubbish. And on this ‘plate’ it was piled ¼” thick, all over the eggs. Not only was the cheese tasteless, it just doesn’t go with eggs to my mind.

I managed to scrape the cheese off the top but to my horror when I cut into the toast, they’d coated the toast in cheese as well before putting the bacon on, and then the eggs! Managing to rescue the eggs and bacon, it got me going for the day ahead.

To Denver

I leave at 11 am and drive to a gas station by the Interstate entrance to fill up with gas. The sky has cleared after last night’s storm, it’s blue and sunny, but only 73º F / 23º C. It will only reach 84º F / 29º C by mid-afternoon.

Welcome to Colorado

About two hours after setting off, I enter Colorado. Out here on the western limits of the Midwest there is little roadside scenery. The fields of wheat and corn stretch for miles. There are a few cows here and there, but not many. As yesterday, a few farm buildings and houses dot the landscape. At some road exits some small towns have been built but for the most part there is little sign of civilisation.

My major problem however is that I forget about a time zone change. I thought I’d get to Denver at 4 pm, when check-in at the hotel opens. But now I will arrive at 3 pm. How to kill an hour? There’s nothing to see and nowhere to go other than drive west. My solution was to slow right down to 60 mph. Yes, a longer drive time but it’ll save a bit of gas. And of sitting outside the hotel waiting for check-in to open. The speed limit is 75 mph and 80% of vehicles, including trucks, go faster than that. I just stick the cruise control on and watch out for any clumps of vehicles where I might need to get out of the way.

I-70 W near Vona, CO

Approaching Denver the traffic starts to build up. Nearing downtown, I’m crawling along with all 6 lanes of the Interstate clogged with traffic. Even with my slowing down, and all the congestion, I pull up outside The Oxford Hotel at 4.05 pm.

A Public Garage

Valet parking here is a ridiculous $62 a day, which I refused to pay. I think that’s the most expensive hotel parking I’ve ever come across. I’m here for two nights and found a public garage a couple of blocks away. I emailed them and they claimed they were secure, with CCTV and guards on-site. All for a third of the Oxford’s charges.

I tell the valet as I get out that I’m private parking after I’ve checked in. I do take my bags up to the room first though. Back down at the car I find the garage easily but the entry instructions are confusing. I end up calling SpotHero, the parking intermediary I booked through, and eventually I enter the garage.

It’s a short walk back to the hotel in the late afternoon sunshine that breaks through the tall buildings of downtown. I’m soon in my room sorting things out. One of which is a major shock. An email tells me my full day tour tomorrow into the Rockies has been cancelled because I was the only person on it (again). They have however offered me another tour at no extra charge.

Another Tour Change

I text and call the company asking for someone to call me urgently to discuss the situation. Instead I get a text saying “How can we help?” I reply, “Please call me urgently”.

I look up the alternative tour on TripAdvisor, which is where I booked through. It seems OK – The Garden of the Gods and Pikes Peak Tour. So it’s still in the Rockies and I have nothing else to do. I just need to accept the switch and find out the details.

About 10 minutes later a bloke from the tour company finally calls me. We discuss the matter, I accept the switch and he provides joining details. Turns out it’s the same time and place as the cancelled tour. My stress levels begin to wind down.

Union Station, Denver, at night

The Oxford Hotel is expensive but I chose it for its proximity to Union Station (yes, another one) where the tour departs from. As part of that expense, including a nefarious resort fee, are some “benefits”. I casually read those out of interest and saw that they offer free transport to any location within two miles of the hotel. Maps tells me my bar for tonight is well within that.

I call Reception and ask how it works. “Just come down when you’re ready and I’ll book and pay for an Uber or Lyft for you”, she says. I’d checked both those earlier – $12 and $8 respectively – and decided I’d walk. Until now. Even $8 isn’t going to offset the Oxford’s high prices, but at least it’s something back.

Bombshells for Dinner

I go downstairs at 7.45 pm and my Lyft ride to Bombshells arrives four minutes later. Another four minutes later and I’m walking inside. It is a sports bar with the twist that the – exclusively female – waitresses and bar staff are scantily dressed à la Hooters. I did not know this before I walked inside. I was aware of what Hooters staff dressed like but I’ve never been to one, for that reason as that’s not an ‘attraction’ for me. All I wanted was a sports bar near the hotel to watch MNF and this was the only one downtown I could find.

I choose a beer, Avery Oktoberfest IPA, and look at the menu. Which is ridiculous. It must be 20 pages or more. I have no idea how they can keep an inventory for that amount of food, and still have it fresh and taste good.

Despite the encyclopaedia however, there’s not a lot I fancy. I’m not in the mood for a big entrée meal. So I settle for nachos with pulled pork. I ask the bar lady and she says they are huge – what a surprise – despite being listed as a starter. “I won’t finish them but I’ll have a go”, I say.

They are OK when they arrive. Some bits of pork are fatty or full of gristle. Of course there is way too much of everything, all piled on top of each other. I do eat quite a lot actually but as usual loads gets thrown away.

No bar talk – the bar is quiet and there’s no-one seated near me – and the bar lady is run off her feet. She’s fine when talking to me, and does keep an eye on my beer levels, asking if I want another.

“It ain’t over till the fat lady sings”

The bar is supposed to close at 10 pm on a Monday. I ask the bar lady if it will. She just shrugs and says she doesn’t know, “Sometimes we stay open”. A few minutes later the manager comes to talk to her. There are 12 minutes left in the fourth quarter of MNF. “We’ll close at the end of the game in 12 minutes” she says. Oh dear. Clearly new to the job and/or football games, I tell the bar lady when the manager leaves: “Football lasts three times longer than game time. This game won’t finish for at least half an hour.” She just smiles at me.

I however am off back to the hotel as it’s nearing 10.30 pm and the game is not that good. I decide to walk. Pre-trip research said it should take 14 minutes. The night was still dry and warm, and the streets empty. It was a nice walk. I do a bit of diary in my room before lights out.

We Need to Talk About Bombshells

Yes we do. And specifically the lady servers’ clothing. There seemed to be quite a bit of variation amongst what they were wearing. The branding on their tops was identical but the low-cut nature and amount of cleavage on show, or not, varied. But there was always some cleavage.

As for the skirts, I’m not sure that term is right. My bar lady’s barely covered her buttocks. In fact when she stretched up or down for a glass or bottle, her knickers were clearly on show. But another server was just out of order. The lower parts of her naked buttocks were in clear view as she walked about. I have no idea of her undergarment but it was clearly hiked halfway up her bum. Her ‘skirt’ was so short as to deliberately show her arse to customers.

Do we really need this sort of thing in 2025? And don’t tell me not to look at them because they are there to serve me and other customers and that means interacting and looking at them. It was noticeable that the two servers I’ve referenced were white. The other four servers were black or of Asian heritage. Yet none of those four had any of their naked buttock flesh on show. They still wore very short skirts but preserved – some of – their modesty. And they had cleavage on show but not as much as their white co-workers.

I’m no prude but I’m not convinced this is in anyway necessary in this day and age. As stated, I wasn’t aware of this prior to visiting but I can’t imagine any blokes thought it sexy or a turn-on, I certainly didn’t. It was more distracting than anything. Wear short skirts and tight tops, maybe. But put the ‘titillating’ flesh away. I’m more bothered about a business trying to use sex as part of its marketing in the mid-20s. And failing.